Closed Circuit

Closed Circuit, the latest film by director John Crowley was a wonderful film. It was a well written, well directed, and well acted political thriller that kept me on the edge of my seat throughout. It gave you the sense that no one was safe and the second you stepped outside your door, eyes were upon you. Big brother was definitely watching and because of that, I give Closed Circuit three buckets of Killer Korn.











I had no idea how good this movie was going to be. Truth be told, I'm not the biggest Eric Bana fan. Mainly because he reminds me of Clive Owen which basically means he acts the same in every movie, no matter what the role or character calls for. Eric is not that bad but there are times when he's close. This time around Eric plays Martin Rose, a defense attorney. he is representing the supposed mastermind behind a terrorist bombing in London. He get's handed the case after attending the funeral of the original defense attorney who committed "suicide".

The public advocate for the terrorist is the determined Claudia Simmons-Howe, played by the lovely Rebecca Hall. The chemistry Eric and Rebecca have feels genuine which is all you can hope for as a director I would imagine. The Borough Street bombing killed 121 people and the people want someone to pay so the pressure is on. The only problem though is the more the defense team dug into the truth, the more things didn't make sense, the more that happened the more questions they asked. Asking questions can apparently get you killed in London. Julia Stiles who is int this movie for all of five minutes worth of screen time plays NY Times England correspondent reporter Joanna Reece. While her part was small, it was very integral.

Closed Circuit looked good, and by good I meant the over cast clouds made the perfect backdrop against the glass, steel, and modern look of the film. Cinematographer Adriano Goldman does an impressive job with capturing both the old and the modern sides of London. The score by Joby Talbot is moody, dark, and tense which makes it perfect for this film. I recommend Closed Circuit because it's a smart movie while being entertaining. Since there aren't very many of those around these days you should see it while you can, and I'll see you at the theater.

The Grandmaster

The Grandmaster, the latest film by Kar Wai Wong is amazing to watch. Visually and cinematically this film is a sight to behold, it's the story that drags this move down. Not so far that it makes the film a bad film, but if The Grandmaster had a better story, this movie could have truly been amazing. Because this film is hampered by a convoluted storyline that makes little sense, I give The Grandmaster two buckets of Killer Korn.











The Grandmaster is supposed to introduce to the world the man that initially trained Bruce Lee (and the kid they found to pose as Bruce at the end truly reminds you of Bruce, well it reminds ME of him anyway). His name is Ip Man, who is played by Tony Leung and he is chosen from amongst other masters to represent southern China kung fu against the north. That right there would have been a great starting point to build off of, instead we get side tracked by Japan's invasion of China and the inner family turmoil of another grandmaster from the north.

The fighting sequences, the lighting, the slow motion shots were all incredible. I loved watching this movie. I did NOT love trying to figure out what the hell was going on however. I enjoyed the discussions of fighting styles and the discussions of discipline. The fighting in the best brothel in town was different, but I went with it. It was when Ip Man and his family lost everything once Japan invaded China was when the story fell apart.

Cinematographer Phillippe Le Sourd did a fantastic job in capturing amazing images and framing this film. The score by Nathaniel Mechaly and Shigeru Umebayashi is sitrring. The music fits perfectly with the images, and there's even some Ennio Morricone music. They incorporated his piece Deborah's Theme from the film Once Upon A Time in America which was a nice touch. If you are a kung fu fan like myself you will not be disappointed with the fighting. However, if you have any desire to see Ip Man personally putting Bruce Lee through the paces, skip this film because that doesn't exist here. I recommend The Grandmaster if you love movies and especially kung fu movies and I'll see you at the theater.

You're Next

You're Next, the woefully stupid and highly unimaginative "horror" film from (and I use this term loosely) director Adam Wingard is a complete waste of time. This movie is full of every single horror movie moment that's been done to DEATH, and done better by the way, that this movie is a complete and utter failure. Because of that, You're Next get's nada, zippo, zilch in terms of any Killer Korn. Not even a damn kernel.











I got suckered into seeing this movie because the advertising and marketing kept using one word over and over again, original. That word in conjunction with horror films isn't a word often used so I became curious. That was a mistake and a half. This so called horror movie is your basic girlfriend of supposed good guy meets supposed good guys wealthy parents and their other children on the weekend of their wedding anniversary. They meet in a house that is so remote and out of the way, out in the middle of nowhere that by the time the bodies are found it could be months later.

During dinner the bad guys strike in such stupid ways that I actually laughed. This crap was written by writer (and I use that term loosely as well) Simon Barret, and what is supposed to be a horror movie is nothing more than a lame home invasion involving patricide. The home invaders in interesting animal masks didn't count on the girlfriend of the supposed good guy being just as much a killer as they are. Erin, played by Sharni Vinson grew up in the Outback on a survival colony where dear old dad taught her how to hunt and kill and she uses those skills here to pretty much kill everyone involved in the attack, including the boyfriend.

If home invasion movies are your thing and you want to be frightened, check out The Strangers instead of this garbage. Now if you've seen this movie before I could get the review up then let me apologize. I am so sorry you wasted your time and money on this lame ass film and if I could, if there was a way I would definitely refund your money. Yes, THAT'S how bad this movie is, and believe me the next time a horror movie marketing campaign uses the word "original", I'm running in the other direction. See you at the theater!

Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

Mortal Instruments: City of Bones, the latest film from director Harald Zwart was a jumbled mess of a movie. I don't know if the book read this badly, but the film was almost incomprehensible. This movie was all over the place as well as possessing HUGE plot holes. Because of that I'm giving Mortal Instruments: City of Bones a bucket of Killer Korn.












You know what I hate, as a movie lover and New Yorker? I hate it when a film is shot in Canada and then passed off like it's New York. Don't shoot a movie in a different country and try to pass it off as someplace in America, especially my city. That would be akin to me shooting a movie in Central Park and trying to pass it off as the French countryside. Especially don't shoot the subway system of another country and claim it's New York's. The subway system here is in a league of it's own, with it's own truly identifying characteristics. Now someone who sees this film in say Topeka, Kansas won't know the difference, and I get that, it's still a bad move. I also get that I am not the demographic for this movie as the heroine is a young white girl who figures out she has powers she never knew she possessed before. There really is NO diversity in this film to speak of and everyone of color is a demon. What does THAT tell you? The cliches and stereotypes abundant to the point that it makes it hard to take this flick seriously.

There really is no point in dragging this review out, or pointing out the cast members and the roles they played. If you read the book authored by Cassandra Clare, and you are a fan of said book, then see the movie. You will probably be able to figure out with ease what the hell is going on and the huge plot holes may not be so huge. If you haven't read the book then by all means skip this movie. I highly doubt you will enjoy it even after you get some sort of grasp as to what is going on. The one thing I will give Mortal Instruments: City of Bones is the score by Atli Orvarsson. It's absolutely lovely and moving, the rest of this film is so utterly forgettable that it's almost laughable. Skip it and I'll see you at the theater!

Jobs

Jobs, the latest film from director Joshua Michael Stern was I'm sure, meant to be an insightful behind the curtain look at the wizard that was Steve Jobs. White it was a marvel to look at considering much of the story takes place in the 70's and 80's, and getting the clothes and computers couldn't have been easy, the only thing this movie revealed was just how big of a dick Steve Jobs was. I don't know if that was the intent going in, but coming out, that was the final product so I'm going to give Jobs two buckets of Killer Korn.

If you love and adore Ashton Kutcher, and if you can stare at his face all day, well more like two hours and eight minutes, then you will absolutely love Jobs. Why is that? Simple, Ashton is in almost every last frame of this film. Yes, I know he's playing the man the film is named after but this almost seemed like a vanity project. There was little to nothing on those men that helped him initially build Apple Computers while in his parents garage. Without those men, there would have been no Apple and there would have been no Steve Jobs. This movie though makes it seem like he did everything all on his own damn near. This movie is woefully inconsistent in that regard. While Steve did bring the company he founded back from the brink of shutting down, I found myself wanting to know more about the team that helped him. That was rarely shown and those men saved his ass on more than one occasion from what I know.

You get a taste of how big a dick Steve is in this movie when working for Atari he's given an assignment to fox a troublesome game, if he can do it he'll get five thousand dollars. He can't so he calls his friend Steve Wozniak, played wonderfully by Josh Gad who saves the day. Does Jobs split the five thousand down the middle, of course not. He instead gives the man who actually fixed the game just seven hundred dollars. If you ever thought Steve Jobs was a saint, who could do no wrong, who was a man that deserved to be on a pedestal, this movie will destroy those notions quickly. Steve turned on his friends, his workers, and even turned his back on his own daughter. Ashton does his best to embody Steve by mimicking his wonky walk, wearing his facial hair like him, and rocking those horrible Birkenstock's, but all I kept seeing was Ashton playing Steve Jobs. 

I'm not an Apple guy, there, I said it. I'm not part of the cult and I can't see me ever seeking membership. I do though remember reading about Steve and his fight against Bill Gates and Apple Computers as well and admiring the man. I admired his fight and determination to recapture what was his as well as fending off the vultures like Gates who sought to ride piggy back on his platforms. I would have liked to have seen more of that, instead we get a moment where Ashton is screaming into the phone at Bill threatening to destroy him. I was hoping for that moment where Steve is talking to his company and Bill appears on the screen behind him as the two men announce a truce and a partnership, that moment was iconic in my opinion, but it wasn't here. That may be because Jobs is the first professional writing assignment by Matt Whiteley so there were going to be a few things missed. What was a blatant miss though was the opening and closing of the movie. 

The movie starts off with Steve introducing the first ipod to his company. He explains how it's "a thousand songs in your pocket" and you can hear the audible gasps from the assembled crowd. Then the movie flashes back to him in college, a drop out that stays on campus (which I don't get but whatever), and taking assorted classes. The problem with the beginning and the end is that they never meet. Why start with him introducing the ipod at the beginning and never go back to that moment and complete that loop? With unprecedented assistance and access from Apple, a good portion of this movie was shot on their campus in Cupertino, California so it's very pretty to look at and a pretty easy job for cinematographer Russell Carpenter though I can't help but wonder how this movie could have looked at the Apple Design team had shot it. The score by John Debney is over the top at times with its heroic themes for a dick of a man, other times it's charming and fits perfectly with what's on the screen.

For the Apple diehards and fanatics out there, this movie is especially for you. For everyone else who's a "PC" but curious about the man responsible for you ipad, ipod, or iphone I suggest you skip this movie. Unless you like movies and stories about men who are nothing but giant dicks. I'll see you at the theater.   

Kick Ass 2

Kick Ass 2, the latest film from director Jeff Wadlow is not a bad movie. It's not necessarily a good one either. Kick Ass 2 is what it is and what it is is mindless entertainment. There is nothing epic about this movie, no true statements being made (unless you're in high school), and the original in my opinion is a far superior movie. That being said, I give Kick Ass 2 a bucket and a half of Killer Korn.











Jeff Wadlow is no Matthew Vaughn, I just want to get that out right up front. Matthew Vaughn was the director of the original Kick Ass, and while there were moments where that movie was over the top, there was a deep serious humanity to that film. Disgraced cop seeking revenge on the man that ruined his life, hitting the streets with his young daughter and robbing those they killed. Yeah, in Kick Ass Big Daddy and Hit Girl KILLED dealers and stole their cash in order to fund their little operation against Mark Strong's Frank D'Amico. Kick Ass was gritty, never taking itself too seriously, and it was incredibly violent. Kick Ass 2, the follow up by Jeff Wadlow is non stop over the top camp. There are moments of seriousness, but for the most part, it's just ridiculous.

Turn off that part of your brain that demands shit make sense, that common sense area, and this movie will STILL have you saying WTF? This time around Dave Lizewski/Kick Ass, played by Aaron Taylor-Johnson is looking to team up with the high school skipping Mindy Macready/Hit Girl character played by Chloe Grace Moretz. She's still training like the devil, all to keep a promise to her now deceased Big Daddy. So Mindy and Dave cut school and sneak off to train and there she shoots Dave, kicks his ass on a regular, and sends him out into the streets looking for trouble dressed as a pimp. Morris Chestnut has taken over the role of Detective Marcus Williams from actor Omari Hardwick, and at the end of Kick Ass, he becomes the legal guardian of Mindy. Now the end of Kick Ass would have led you to believe that Marcus would have taken on the Big Daddy persona, and that would have been a cool story to tell but Jeff Wadlow went in a different direction.

Jeff instead introduces us to other crime fighting people. In much the same way Batman inspires copycats in The Dark Knight, Kick Ass has inspired other would be crime fighters, and a few of them have formed the group Justice Forever, and some even have facebook pages. Led by the maniacal Colonel Stars and Stripes, played by Jim Carrey, Justice Forever takes to the streets looking to right the wrongs and bring justice to those who deserve it. On the other side of that coin, Chris D'Amico, played hilariously by Christopher Mintz-Plasse becomes The Motherfucker after his mother threw away his Red Mist costume, and he creates a gang of super villains. Well not really super, except Mother Russia, played somewhat frighteningly by Olga Kurkulina, who has the ability to rip car doors off police cars and break necks with her thighs. Marcus however wants Mindy to embrace her high school experience and to quit being Hit Girl once and for all. Mindy has a "Carrie", popular girls vs. high school outcast moment and then realizes her destiny is to be Hit Girl, but not before causing projectile vomiting and ridiculous diarrhea in the school cafeteria.

Where Matthew's fight sequences were smooth, choreographed and filmed almost like a dance, Jeff's were...just not that. Jerky hand held cameras that tried to get you in the middle of the action were a big fail. Not to mention this movie looked like it was filmed to be on TV, not a movie screen. Cinematographer Tim Maurice-Jones got some great aerial shots of NYC, but the lighting was horrible and everything looked like a set. The music was a collection of pop songs that were akin to nails on a chalkboard combined with an inspired score by Henry Jackman and Matthew Margeson. If they eliminated the wretched pop songs, the movie may have been slightly better. If you choose to skip Kick Ass 2, I can't blame you. If you're looking for mindless fun then check it out. If you're looking for a good movie then watch the original and leave Kick Ass 2 alone.
I'll see you at the theater.

Lee Daniel's The Butler

Lee Daniels' The Butler, the latest film by Lee Daniels is a good film. It's a quality film with great performances, it just failed to connect with me. I thought it was long in the tooth at times, and I thought it failed to really show me the man who Cecil Gaines truly was. I walked out of that film feeling somewhat incomplete and because of that, I give Lee Daniels' The Butler two and a half buckets of Killer Korn.











This is the first Lee Daniels film I have seen, and that's due to me wanting to see no parts of Precious and having no desire to watch Nicole Kidman pee on someone in Paperboy. I was assured by the media and Hollywood that he was a competent director, after all Mo'Nique won the Oscar for her performance in that movie. That means he must have done something right, right? Well I don';t know about that, and him being a good director may be true, but he's weak as far as being a good storyteller goes in my book. His version of The Butler (there was another movie entitled The Butler which was released back in 1916, the studio holding the rights to that film, Warner Bros. fought to keep Lee Daniels film from being called The Butler. Hence his name being put in front), is a stretch across time. The movie starts in 1926 and ends when President Obama wins back in 2008. Between those two years, this movie tells the tale of Cecil Gaines, played by Forest Whitaker who gives an excellent performance. It's just too bad he was saddled with uninspired direction and a crappy screenplay.

I state Lee Daniels direction was uninspired for a few reasons. If you're going to make a movie about a butler in the White House, make it about the man, NOT the job. Yeah, yeah I know the job is impressive and all that, getting to work in the White House is nothing to sneeze at, but everyone is aware of what a butlers job is. I could care less about him polishing the silver or gold flatware, I want to know about the man, and I feel this movie did very little in introducing me to the man Cecil Gaines is. There's nothing regarding how he met his wife Gloria Gaines, the movie jump cuts to an already established family. You get told how they met but that's it. This was the prime chance to show the dichotomy in the man at home, with his family and the man at work and Lee Daniels dropped the ball.

Cecil's mother Hattie Pearl, played by Mariah Carey is constantly raped and eventually goes crazy, or so the audience is led to believe, by the plantation owner Thomas Westfall, played by Alex Pettyfer. Cecil's dad Earl, played by one time rapper turned actor David Banner gets murdered for standing up this one time for his wife and Alex's mother Annabeth Westfall, played by Vanessa Redgrave decides to make Cecil a house n****r since his parents are no longer any good. This where he's taught the very valuable lessons on how to serve properly. Cecil eventually runs away, heads north, finds a wife, has two sons, and is working at a hotel as a butler. The relationship between Cecil and his oldest son, Louis played by David Oyelowo, is far more nuanced than the relationship he has with his youngest son Charlie Gaines, played by Elijah Kelley, and to say that there was any relationship at all between father and sons is a stretch. The extent of their relationship is seen in the trailer, there isn't much beyond that.

I don't know if this project was just far too ambitious for Lee Daniels skill set but this movie left me wanting. Not wanting more, but wanting less. This movie in my opinion lacked any real focus, it was all over the place and the only real significant historical Black figure that was not mentioned, or the movement he was involved with was Malcolm X. I thought it was a stretch to have a White House butlers son sitting in the hotel room with Dr. King, I also thought it was unnecessary to follow the exploits of the oldest son while ignoring the youngest son. Especially when the youngest sons story was more tragic, more gripping, and more real. Based on the life of Eugene Allen, the actual man who Forest Whitaker is supposed to be embodying, most of what's on the screen is made up. Eugene Allen only had one son and his wife, Helene Allen supposedly rarely drank. Yet this movie felt it needed to add more to the story, as if being a Black butler in the White House during the time when Civil Rights were being fought for in this country wasn't a gripping enough on it's own.

I hope this movie does well, I truly do, and I am happy I saw it but don't be surprised if you walk out feeling a little hollow. This movie may leave you a little hungry, for less. See you at the theater.