I Am Number Four

For those that know me well know I don't see movies for who stars in them, big deal. Those acting in the movie aren't nearly as important as those directing the movie as far as I am concerned. That being said I am a fan of directors more than a fan of actors and that's the primary reason why I wanted to really see "I Am Number Four". Directed by D.J. Caruso who I became a fan of thanks to his movie "Disturbia" is the man behind this sorry flick. "Disturbia" brought me to Caruso's next helmed film "Eagle Eye" and while it wasn't anywhere as good as Disturbia it was a somewhat decent film thanks greatly to it's cast. Sadly "Number Four" didn"t have a great cast to save it. What was so upsetting about this movie though was that this story shouldn't have needed a great cast to carry this film. The story idea and premise is great but the execution was sorely lacking. So basically Caruso's films have gotten worse everytime out and he's losing me as a fan.

Starring the pathetically wooden Alex Pettyfer who plays John Smith an alien from the planet Lorien. He was one f the nine Lorien children sent here to earth after his planet was invaded by the Mogadorian's and each of the nine is blessed with a special gift that they were supposed to use to liberate their people back on Lorien once the nine has matured and mastered their "legacies". However, the "Mogs" don't enslave, they "decimate" which meant there was nothing for the nine to go back to save but the Mogs weren't just happy with slaying all the Loriens on their planet, they also want to kill the nine Lorien's on this planet. That's not as easy as it seems because each of the nine is protected by a guardian, a fellow Lorien but a soldier meant to protect them until they mature enough to be able to control their "legacies". John's guardian is Henri played by a seemingly uninspired Timothy Olyphant from the TV show "Justified".

Also starring in this underwhelming movie is mealy mouthed Dianna Argon who is the love interest "Sarah". Dianna while very attractive isn't the most articulate actress so some of her lines are hard to figure out. There is also Number Six played by Teresa Palmer, Kevin Durand who plays the giddy Mogadorian leader which does bring a chuckle or two to this otherwise humorless and passionless movie, and Callan McAuliffe who plays Sam, John's loyal sidekick. It's a cast of basically no names and their portrayals show that. This movie comes across completely flat when it had so much promise. Unlike the last two Caruso's films which were executive produced by Steven Spielberg, this one was overseen by Michael Bay and honestly he should stick to directing.

The movie was scored by Trevor Rabin and the music while trying to add drama and emotion to the film, it fell equally as flat as the movie it was married too. There will be a sequel if this movie does halfway decent business at the box office because Four and Six have plans but I would wait for that DVD if number II will arrive as flat as Number Four.

See you at the theater.

The Mechanic

To say that Jason Statham movies are predictable is like saying water is wet. You might as well save your breath instead of pointing out the obvious. There hasn't been one movie he's been in or done that you didn't have some kind of idea as to what the outcome was going to be, an outcome you saw coming a mile down the road. That's pretty much excatly how you may feel halfway through his latest offering "The Mechanic". If you can't figure this movies plot out and see what's coming at you at breakneck speed then you really need to open your eyes. From his Transporter movies to his turn in his Crank, The Italian Job, The Bank Job and others Jason never ever surprises you. He plays that scowling loner type to perfection and that's on full display in "Mechanic".

Directed by Simon West who's done way more TV movies than feature films, The Mechanic is a stiff, leaden film with no humor and no light anywhere. It's shot with a murky look and that's a shame since the main character of the film, Statham's "Arthur Bishop" lives in New Orleans. None of what makes New Orleans special or beautiful is in this movie and it could have been a character in the movie alongside the incomparable Donald Sutherland, the talented Ben Forster, and the seedy Tony Goldwyn (and if someone can tell me what happened to that mans eyebrows I would appreciate it).

Bishop is a hit man, a mechanic and he's considered one of the elite in his craft and dedicated. His percision is supposed to be shown by how he takes care of his house and how he rebuilds an antique Jaguar automobile. He shows his talents when the movie opens by taking out the leader of some drug cartel who's death was blamed on an accidental drowning. His next assignment though is to take out a good friend and he has second thoughts and wants to speak the man behind the hit. When Bishop is assured that with or without him the hit will go through and once the assignment is complete Ben Forster shows up playing Steve Mckenna, the detatched son of Bishops mentor Harry McKenna played by Donald Sutherland.

Steve wants to learn how to become a mechanic and because Bishop feels he owes it to him he decides to mentor the son of his mentor. Now that's a good start to a story line but just when this movie could take off and become something it retreats into something so utterly predictable that if it weren't for the bullets flying and the CG blood it would put you to sleep.

Like I stated earlier the film is shot in a style so dark and murkily that even David Fincher would have a problem with it. It was scored by the talented Mark Isham of who I am a tremendous fan but this score was amazingly bad. There was nothing to it, no depth, no charm, no heart which was pretty much like the movie the music was married to. If I had to rate this film on the five bullet scale, sadly the clip would be empty.