The Lone Ranger

The Lone Ranger, the latest movie from director Gore Verbinski is an overblown, muddled, and directionless film. When I left the theater I wasn't sure if I liked the film or hated it, but the more I thought about it, the more I figured out that The Lone Ranger was a waste of 2 hours and twenty-nine minutes of my life that I will never be able to get back and because of that, The Lone Ranger gets a half a bucket of Killer Korn.






Jerry Bruckheimer, producer extraordinaire must have looked around the landscape of all the reboots of classic and iconic characters in the movies and thought to himself, "Who can I bring back to life?" He must have felt left behind when he saw the Batman/Dark Knight trilogy do a billion dollars collectively at the box office. Then with the Superman/Man Of Steel reboot do booming business, he must have searched high and low for his own reboot vehicle. His answer, The Lone Ranger. Now honestly, that's really not a bad choice because The Lone Ranger is the icon of iconic characters, and he also hasn't been around for a good while so Ranger was rife with possibilities. This was the chance to delve into the Ranger's back story, give the viewer some real information on the man behind the mask, like where he comes from, why home is so important to him, and why justice mattered so much to him. Instead we get little to none of that key information on the Ranger and what we do get is quite frankly damn annoying. Armie Hammer plays John Reid who eventually becomes The Lone Ranger and Johnny Depp plays his reluctant but eventual ever faithful sidekick Tonto. Those two men do the best they can with a dreadful script and worse direction.

Gore Verbinski has made a lot of money for Jerry over the years so I'm guessing he's Jerry's go to guy. I could understand that if Gore had more variety on his resume regarding those films he's directed that did well at the box office. He's only directed ten films, and of those ten, three have been Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Now the first one was fantastic but the last two were awful (he didn't direct the last Pirates movie, that bad film was directed by Rob Marshall). His other movies were Mousehunt, The Mexican, The Ring, The Weather Man, and Rango. Looking at that list you would have to wonder who would keep hiring this guy. Apparently the answer to that question is Jerry B., and that's probably why The Lone Ranger reminds me of a Pirates movie. The same facial close-ups of wide eyed imbeciles looking off into the distance, the same ridiculous over acting, and the same outlandish stunts that made NO sense.

This movie boasts a very talented cast that is absolutely wasted in this film. Besides Depp and Hammer there's the talented William Fitchner who plays Wild Bill Cavendish, Tom Wilkinson who plays Cole, Helena Bonham Carter who plays Red Harrington (a role unworthy of a woman as talented as she), James Badge Dale who plays Danny Reid, Barry Pepper who stars as Capt. Fuller, and Ruth Wilson who plays Rebecca Reid. These talented people are held back and bogged down in a story so lame it's almost laughable and by a director with questionable skills at telling a cohesive story. Questions arise that are never answered and the questions we are given answers too are unsatisfying at best. This movie cost $215 million to make and I doubt very seriously that it'll make that money back, at least domestically, which is good because that means there won't be a sequel. The Lone Ranger doesn't seem to know if it wants to be a comedy or a serious drama and because of that, fails miserably at both. Sure there are chuckle moments in the movie, but there's never enough real drama or real humor to make this movie charming, or even likeable.

Written by Justin Haythe (who has been involved with some impressive movies throughout the years), Ted Elliott (who has been involved with some really bad movies and who is writing the next two installments of the Pirates franchise), and Terry Rossio (who's in the same boat with Ted), these men have concocted a story that's convoluted, muddled, and shallow. They try to give the story depth by speaking on the white man's greed and how that greedy white man fleeced the innocent natives of this land. Problem is, we know all that already and the writers, not taking that into consideration, fail to give us anything new. I'm sure much of the $215 million dollar budget was spent on CG but when the movie did hit some locations, cinematographer Bojan Bazelli did a marvelous job. The one shot of the Rangers at the mouth of the canyon was beautiful. Scored by Hans Zimmer, the music reminded me too much of his work for the Sherlock Holmes movies he did that were directed by Guy Ritchie. Nothing wrong with that except that it didn't feel original. He did redo the William Tell Overture which was impressive and nostalgic, but still not original. If you were ever a fan of The Lone Ranger then I beseech you to skip this film, it will only disappoint you in the end. Save your money, or see something else, and I'll see you at the theater.