Transformers: Age of Extinction, the latest movie from bombastic director Michael Bay is at times entertaining and at others just utterly ridiculous. In typical Bay fashion this movie is completely over the top, long, and almost incoherent. Since I have decided to movie to a five bucket review system, and since every Micheal Bay movie looks alike, leading me to believe he is a one trick pony, I am going to give Transformers: Age of Extinction two buckets of Killer Korn.Two words that describe Transformers: Age of Extinction aka T4 perfectly are looooong and LOUD! Was it witty, charming, engaging? Not really? Did it have confusing elements that made no sense? Yes! Did it have plot holes the size of which you could drive two semi's through side by side? Absolutely! Did it have action you could barely keep up with because the camera was too close? Isn't that the Michael Bay way? Was there way too much on the Yeager family, a family you don't really give a damn about? Is the sun hot? The same problem I had with Godzilla, where they focused too much on the family aspect of the story and not enough on the monster is the same complaint I have here. The only difference between Godzilla and Transformers 4 is in T4 they tried to balance human interaction and robot action which led to this being an almost three hour movie. Yes, I'll say that again, Transformers: Age of Extinction was almost THREE FUCKING HOURS LONG! And for NO damn reason other than to justify it's $210 million dollar budget. Honestly I was surprised that they even decided to do a fourth film, but when I found out T3 made over $1.1 billion dollars at the box office, it all quickly made sense to me.
This time around, there's no Shia playing the bumbling, frenetic Sam Witwicky. Taking his place is the overacting Mark Wahlberg who plays Texas inventor (quite the stretch there) Cade Yeager. Cade finds a truck in an abandoned movie theater he is cleaning out for parts and brings said truck home to his farm. Turns out this truck is the hunted outlaw Optimus Prime who's been turned on by the humans he saved in Chicago in the previous film. Of course there's the blonde haired, blue eyed, short shorts wearing girl, typical Bay casting, who's Cade's daughter Tessa, played by Nicola Peltz. She does the typical Bay thing of being strong one minute and then screaming like a little helpless baby the next. Her boyfriend is an Irish rally car racer (yes apparently there are Irish rally car racers in Texas, who knew?) Tessa falls for against her fathers wishes. He is Shane Dyson, played by Jack Reynor and this movie would have been just fine without his presence, but the dating element gives Bay an excuse to focus on the family as they use cliche'd, melodramatic dialogue every chance they got. The plot seems like it was conceived during a night of booze and weed (and maybe some pills), because it made NO sense. Writer Ehren Kruger may need an intervention people, seriously.
Surprisingly Stanley Tucci and Kelsey Grammer are in Transformers 4, I'm guessing to add some gravitas. They failed to do so, but I'm sure they were paid handsomely for their efforts. This film looks like every other Michael Bay film except this time around it's louder, bigger, and longer. Scored again by the masterful Steve Jablonsky, the music was the best thing in the movie. Subtle at times, dramatic at others but never overreaching, which I appreciate. Steve could have easily mailed this one in but he's been making incredible strides as a composer in my opinion and has elevated his game with every new score. The cinematography by Amir Mokri, who did T3 was nothing new. It was a very bright and pretty film to look at with some interesting camera work, same as the last Transformers movie. So to summarize, if you have almost three hours to spare, have a twenty burning a hole in your pocket, and you don't mind unabashed nonsensical movies with mammoth sized plot holes, then check out Transformers: Age of Extinction and I'll see you at the theater.
Mark Eric Entertainment
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