The Round Up

Okay, I've seen a few movies lately but I've not been in any position (or mood) to blog about them. Because that is the case, I have chosen to write a round up, a summary if you will on each of the recent films I've seen, to allow both you and me to sort of catch up.

First up is Snitch, starring Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock, Susan Sarandon, Barry Pepper, John Bernthal, Michael Kenneth Williams, and Rafi Gavron. It's a movie based on a true story where Rafi, playing Jason Collins the son of trucking magnate John Matthews, played by Dwayne Johnson gets a package of pills sent to him by a friend. That "friend" sets Jason up to get caught by the DEA and Jason then gets sent to jail. Jason refuses to turn on his friends, a stupid stance if you ask me but despite all the pressure from the outside, parents, district attorney, arresting officer and all the ass beatings Jason is getting inside prison, he sticks to his guns and is looking at at least 10 years. That spurs John into putting himself on the line and plunging his otherwise clean hands into the muck of the underworld. It's a decent movie, though the constant camera shaking will probably make you nauseous. Directed by renown stuntman and relative new director Ric Roman Waugh, Snitch won't blow you away but it may entertain. It gets a bucket and a half of Killer Korn.

Next up is Jack the Giant Slayer, the latest movie from acclaimed director Bryan Singer. It stars Nicholas Hoult as Jack, a young man who lives on a farm and thirsting for an adventure. Jack lives with his uncle after his father dies (we're never told how), and his uncle sends him into town to sell a horse. Jack trades the horse for magic beans and the only warning he gets from the monk he trades with is "don't let them get wet". Every child in the kingdom is told about the land of the giants, including the princess Isabelle, played by Eleanor Tomlinson. A young girl who is, wouldn't you know it, also thirsting for adventure. It has a great cast, which I can only attribute to them wanting to work with Singer, There's Ewan McGregor, Stanley Tucci, Ian McShane, Eddie Marsan, and the voice of Bill Nighy as the leader of the giants. There was a crown forged once before when the giants came from above and tried to rule mankind, the crown enslaved the giants and sent them back from whence they came and the crown was then buried with the king, Erik The Great who is played by Craig Salisbury. Whoever wears the crown enslaves the giants but the only way for the giants to get back to earth is through massive beanstalks which only happens if the magic beans get wet and, well you can guess what happens. Way too much money was spent on this movie and it will NEVER break even, forget about making a profit but for what it's worth, Jack the Giant Slayer is a decent movie and gets two buckets of Killer Korn.



Then there's Dead Man Down, a film I feel is in the same vein as the classic Luc Besson masterpiece The Professional. Dead Man Down has a look and a feel to it that is very much reminiscent of The Professional and since I am a huge fan of that film, Dead Man Down was a pleasant surprise. Directed by Niels Arden Oplev, the man that directed the original Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, it stars Colin Farrel as Victor, a member of a crew that works for gangster Alphonse Hoyt, played by the multi-talented Terrence Howard. Also starring is the phenomenal Dominic Cooper, Noomi Rapace, F. Murray Abraham, and Armand Assante. Now the trailers are wildly misleading because they get you believing that the scars on Beatrice's face, Victor's neighbor played by Noomi Rapace was done so by Alphonse and that Victor has to get revenge for what was done to her. Actually Beatrice blackmails Victor into killing the drunk driver who smashed into her car which caved in the left side of her face. If he doesn't kill the drunk driver, she will go to the police and show them a video of Victor killing a man in his apartment. The man Victor killed was done so to keep Victors real identity a secret so Victor can exact his own revenge against Alphonse, his crew that killed Victors daughter, and the hired Albanians that killed his wife when she was on her way to testify against Alphonse. You see the love story slowly develop and there is really no chemistry between Colin and Noomi, but you go with it because the story is so good and it's because of that, I give Dead Man Down three buckets of Killer Korn.

Lastly, there's the movie Identity Thief, a movie that reminds me of another favorite of mine, one I have been screaming for a remake of for years, Midnight Run which starred Charles Grodin and Robert DeNiro. Identity Thief stars Jason Bateman as Sandy Patterson and Melissa McCarthy as Diana. Diana is a bonafide thief and steals Sandy's identity because it sounds like a woman's name and Sandy was too stupid to realize he was being taken when Diana called him on the phone to get some vital information from him. Sandy lives in Colorado and Diana lives in sunny southern Florida. Sandy has to bring Diana back to Colorado to clear his name and keep his job. He has a wife, two daughters and another child on the way and since the authorities don't get involved in identity theft, desperate Sandy goes after her himself. Diana is also being chased by an imprisoned kingpins henchmen whom she cheated out of money by selling him bad phony credit cards. There's also the bounty hunter, played by Robert Patrick that's tasked to bring her back to face the music in a Florida court. There's definitely a Midnight Run feel here, it just doesn't have the same charm and I blame that on Jason Bateman. He's just annoys me but you find yourself rooting for him here, the problem is this movie, directed by Seth Gordon doesn't seem to know if it was to be a slapstick comedy or a heartfelt, emotional film on friendship. Trying to do both makes this film a little schizo and that's never good so I give Identity Thief one bucket of Killer Korn





So ends the round up...for now :)