Jurassic World

Jurassic World, the second full length movie from writer/director Colin Trevorrow is a bland excuse for a summer movie. If this movie were not called Jurassic World or produced by Steven Spielberg, I doubt anyone would see it. Because of the weak execution of this $150 million budgeted film I can only bring myself to give it one bucket of Killer Korn.












Only in the mythical, magical, fairytale land known as Hollywood can a man go from doing one full length feature film entitled Safety Not Guaranteed, a film that only grossed $4 million dollars, to being handed a check for $150 million dollars and be put in charge of the next leg of the Jurassic Park franchise. I didn't see Safety and after watching Jurassic World, I have no desire to. Jurassic World was a predictable, tepid film with muddled dialogue and ridiculous stretches of the imagination. Now don't get me wrong, on the shits and giggles scale this movie rates decently despite the plot holes, but I need more than mere shits and giggles to think a movie is good, especially a movie I have to pay to see. This movie wasn't worth the money in my opinion.

Starring the talentless Chris Pratt as the dinosaur whisperer/wrangler Owen who works at Jurassic World, all he does throughout the movie is squint and recite trite dialogue. Bryce Dallas Howard shows up in her first film since 2012 as Claire, the ice queen in charge of the park who seemed to forget that dinosaurs were somewhat intelligent creatures. Vincent D'Onofrio plays the idiot Hoskins, the man in charge of Jurassic World's private security and has grand plans for the Raptors. Ty Simpkins and Nick Robinson play the obligatory kids Gray and Zach respectfully, Irrfan Khan plays billionaire Simon Misrani, the man who owns the park, and BD Wong reprising his role from the original film as Dr. Henry Wu. Wu creates a dinosaur that can outsmart humans, communicate with other dinosaurs, and kills for sport. Claire and company wanted to up the wow factor for fans of the park and that was done with the Indominus Rex. A hybrid dinosaur that is part Raptor and Tyrannosaurus and has the ability to hide from the human eye AND thermal detection (exactly, not a good idea).

I was not impressed at all by Jurassic World, nor was I surprised by anything either. The best part of the film was the end and even that forced you to suspend your intelligence (not that watching man made dinosaurs fight in a theme park hasn't already made you do that). I expected more and I expected better (Spielberg's name was attached after all) but I was sorely disappointed when the credits rolled. The score by Michael Giacchino was uninspiring to put it mildly. He's done far better scores in his day and this one will definitely not win him another Oscar. Oscar nominated cinematographer John Schwartzman did a good job of capturing the live action against a green screen backdrop so no complaints there but overall the movie Jurassic World isn't worth the price of admission. I suggest you skip it and skip if hard. I'll see you at the theater.

entourage

entourage, the latest film from writer/director Doug Ellin is one of those movies that didn't have to be made. In fact I am still scratching my head as to why it was. I knew of no one clamoring for an entourage movie so I'm leaning towards cash grab. There was nothing at all profound about the film but since there was never anything profound about the show that was no surprise. That being said I give this pile of dung one bucket of Killer Korn.

Making a movie based on a TV show is always a complicated situation. Those behind it have to hope for two things to happen, 1- that the fans of the show are willing to pay to see a movie that they once saw for virtually pennies and 2- those that never watched the show will put their ten plus dollars down for a ticket. It's a tricky proposition to say the least and one that has rarely ever paid off. So I don't know what made the producers of the show think that a thirty million dollar movie of entourage was going to be a successful box office venture but they did and here I am, reviewing this shit. There is nothing to this movie that you haven't seen before if you watched the show. 

Turtle, played by Jerry Ferrara is still driving even though they want you to buy his mini-mogul, millionaire status. Eric, played by Kevin Connolly is still the simpering emotional basket case, baby sitter/manager of movie star Vincent Chase played by Adrian Grenier. Ari Gold, played by the talented Jeremy Piven is no longer representing Vincent as his agent, he is now the head of a studio who's life depends on Vincent's latest movie (nothing new there). That leaves the still looking for a role, amazingly stupid manchild Johnny Drama, played by Kevin Dillon. If you were wondering if this movie would stray from the TV show in anyway don't worry, it doesn't.

And that's the main problem with this movie. There is NO growth in any of these fictional characters so if you didn't watch the show or like it, don't let your curiosity entice you to go. If you did watch and liked/loved what you saw then by all means get down to your nearest cineplex. My issue with the show was I grew tired of these four white boys fucking their way through LA while continuing to get lucky in the movie business. That is continued in the movie which is nothing but another episode of the show. Entourage is fluff and for that, this could have been aired on HBO as a two hour movie instead of making you buy a ticket to see it (hence why I'm leaning towards cash grab). Vincent wants to direct his latest movie Hyde and needs more money to complete the already over budget $100 million dollar project from Ari. Ari has to beg, cajole, charm, and threaten his way to getting that money and loses his job in the process. Sounds familiar? If you watched ANY episode of the show then I'm sure it does. 

Entourage is a movie worth skipping. If you want to see the boys live that lavish Hollywood lifestyle and see all the hot women they run through then sign up for HBOGo and re-watch every single episode again for pennies. Don't spend money to buy a ticket to watch another episode just because it's in a movie theater, it's pointless. It's predictable and saddled with an ending that you see coming from a mile and a half away. Skip it and see something else. If you do go see it, don't say you weren't warned. 

Tomorrowland

Tomorrowland, the latest film from director Brad Bird just confirms what I have always thought of him as a director, that he should stick to directing animated movies. His live action films (there have only been two and Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol was his first) have always left me wanting for more. His animated work like The Incredibles and The Iron Giant on the other hand were highly entertaining. He needs to go back to that art form because Tomorrowland is only getting two buckets of Killer Korn and that's me being generous.












Tomorrowland's marketing campaign had me curious about checking out this tepid film. The trailer was genius, okay genius may be too strong a word but it was very smart. Casting George Clooney as Frank Walker the irascible old man was undoubtedly a coup but even he couldn't save this slowly sinking ship and hey, this ship be sinking. George stars opposite Britt Robertson who plays Casey Newton and their dynamic bordered on annoying. There's also Athena, an all knowing recruiter for Tomorrowland played by Raffey Cassidy. Now to be quite honest none of this movie made any sense and the plot holes were immense.

Written by the slightly less than talented Damon Lindelof whose only really decent credit on his resume was being a writer the hit TV series Lost. He also wrote Star Trek: Into Darkness and Ghost Protocol but outside of those two projects his other works are too weak to mention. Brad Bird and Jeff Jensen also had a hand in this $190/240 million dollar capsizing wreck. Basically this was Disney trying to turn another ride of theirs into a movie (Pirates of the Caribbean was the first attempt) and they failed miserably. I really can't see Disney turning a profit on this one. It rates a zero on the Matthews' shits and giggles scale.

Tomorrowland doesn't make you laugh, cry, or make you feel anything at all. There's very little suspense or thrills and even the kids in the audience (and there were quite a few) found it boring and they were obviously the targeted demographic. Maybe in the hands of another studio this movie could have been something interesting but it had that kid friendly Disney feel all over it and kids today are far too sophisticated for that. They are watching Daredevil on Netflix and Game of Thrones on HBO (when mom and dad aren't around) and Tomorrowland can't compete with that on any level. The movie is not even visually or emotionally arresting and I found myself looking forward to the end. Oscar award winning composer Michael Gacchiano put together a rather good score without much to work with and sadly it was wasted on this schlock. Skip this tepid movie and see Mad Max: Fury Road again, trust me you'll be happier and I'll see you at the theater.  

Mad Max: Fury Road

Mad Max: Fury Road, the latest film by George Miller is light on story but full on with action and it's the action that simply takes your breath away. This movie is an over the top, testosterone fueled, relentless spectacle that takes the Mad Max brand to another level. I have never seen anything like this movie and I doubt I ever will. I know the movie year is just getting started and there's a certain movie about a war amongst the stars that has yet to come but right now Mad Max: Fury Road is the most entertaining movie of the year. I can't help but give it four and a half buckets of Killer Korn.










I'm just going to start my blog off with this...HOLY SHIT!!!!! Mad Max: Fury Road is one movie I am definitely going to see again. It's got so much of what you want and what you need in a Mad Max movie along with some things you don't want. However, the good outweighs the bad so much that you can easily ignore that pesky bad stuff. Tom Hardy this time is the laconic/frenzied survivor Max taking the place of Mel Gibson and he looks like he was born to play the part. Where Mel was lithe and looked like he wouldn't be able to take or give a sufficient ass whooping, Tom is hulking and comes across as someone you don't really want to fuck with even when he's locked up. The lovely Charlize Theron plays Imperator Furiosa and  believe me when I tell you, you have never seen Charlize like this before. I had no idea she had the chops to do the action stuff but you buy it when you see it and that's all that matters. The rest of the cast includes Nicholas Hoult who plays Nux, Hugh Keays-Byrne who plays Immortan Joe, Zoe Kravitz, Josh Helman, Nathan Jones, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Riley Keough, Abbey Lee, and Courtney Eaton. The rest of the cast doesn't really matter, trust me.

Now remember when I said how the good outweighed the bad and how the good was SO good that you'd ignore the bad? Well if you know me then you know how much a good story impacts heavily on how much I like or dislike a film. This movie, yeah it's super light on story, paper thin in fact (not to mention it's in annoying 3D) BUT the shit that goes on as this movie rambles and rumbles down Fury Road is so jaw-droppingly sick that you'll forgive George, Brendan McCarthy, and Nick Lathouris for taking writing credit on this. The fact that three guys wrote this is pretty damn funny when you take into consideration how little dialogue this is and the fact that a fifth grader could have come up with the plot. The saving grace is the fifth grader couldn't have dreamed up these action sequences if you sent him to bed on acid. I would love to give you a hint as to what you should prepare yourself for but fuck that, you're on your own and you know what, you'll thank me. Just know this, I have never ever seen a movie like Mad Max: Fury Road in all my movie going years.

George Miller has truly outdone himself this time. He's made up significantly for the lack of women presence in the previous three Max movies. He's even gave clues to just how broken a man his iconic character is. Something he failed to deal with the first time around. Tom Hardy is right now the man and his chemistry with Charlize is palpable. Those two should definitely do more movies together and if Fury Road does well at the box office, there will be at least one more pairing of these two. The cinematography was beautiful. Shot by Oscar award winner John Seale, not just was the bleakness of the wasteland captured beautifully but so was the muck, the sand, the rock, and the green place. The colors were deep and vibrant and the framing was excellent. Tom Holkenborg aka Junkie XL scored this movie and he definitely impressed me. After his score on 300: Rise of an Empire I was left wanting. Not this time around. On Fury Road he seems to have come into his own, evolving as a musician and realizing the difference between putting music in a movie and scoring. Well done sir. Since the second line of this entry revealed that I have every intention of seeing this movie again then you can best believe that I highly recommend Mad Max: Fury Road. It is without a fucking doubt one of the best shits and giggles film ever made and I'll see you at the theater.

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Avengers: Age of Ultron is the latest film from writer/director Joss Whedon and his new movie is a roller coaster spectacle of a ride. While it is widely known that I despised the first Avengers movie due to many reasons, it seems that Joss set out to redeem himself and he absolutely succeeded. Age of Ultron isn't perfect but it is an incredible improvement over it's predecessor and because of that I give Avengers: Age of Ultron four and a half buckets of Killer Korn.












This action/adventure movie is chock full of shits and giggles and that in my humble opinion is what the first Avengers film was missing. Comparing the two films, Age of Ultron succeeds on far greater levels that Avengers ever did. That may be due to less pressure on Whedon because in truth he did it already. He's already brought the greatest collection of super heroes to the big screen anyone has ever seen. Granted he still needed to bring the bang (which he did in ridiculous ways), but Age of Ultron couldn't possibly be worse than the first one so he had nowhere to go but up and up is just where Joss went. The cast is pretty much the same this time around with a few cool cameos thrown in for good measure. Robert Downey Jr. reprises his role as Iron Man, Chris Hemsworth is back as Thor, Scarlett Johansson is the Black Widow again, Mark Ruffalo plays Bruce Banner/The Hulk, Chris Evens plays Steve Rogers/Captain America, and Samuel L. Jackson is back as the one eyed Nick Fury. Also joining the cast this time is James Spader who adds quite the frightening element to the villain Ultron, and Paul Bettany who plays Vision (one of my favorite heroes from my childhood).

Tony Stark is delving into artificial intelligence because he's still somewhat anxiety riddled from his missile guiding shenanigans in the first Avengers. He wants to build an iron shield around the earth to defend it from all comers, so there won't be a need for The Avengers anymore. He needs Loki's scepter to aid in that process, a process which fails miserably. Tony's creation would be called Ultron and when he comes online he immediately attacks Jarvis (removing all competition) and begins to craft a plan to destroy mankind with an extinction level event. It's that event that's kind of hard to swallow but the point is made that mankind is destined to destroy itself because it's in our nature. I don't mind Ultron's plan so much because the skirmish between Iron Man and the Hulk was worth the price of admission alone. It was hilarious, ferocious, ridiculously violent, and all around wonderful. It makes up for Ultron's hokey event. Bottom line is there was a far more concrete story with great 3D and graphics than there was in the first. Cohesive plot? Cute love story? Shits and giggles? CHECK ALL THE BOXES!!!

Flying in on the cameo carpet is War Machine played by Don Cheadle and the Falcon played by Anthony Mackie. Those two characters along with Quicksilver played by Aaron Taylor-Johnson and the Scarlett Witch played by Elizabeth Olson. Three out of those four will formulate the new Avengers. Now War Machine and Falcon together is unprecedented. Two talented Black actors in a major franchise like this gives me hope that diversity is FINALLY coming, which is definitely a good start. Now interestingly enough not everyone who worked on the first movie came back for the second. Alan Silvestri, the man behind the heroic theme of the Avengers passed on scoring the sequel. Picking up the scoring duties here are Danny Elfman and Bryan Tyler. Not that you could tell the difference between Alan's score and what Danny and Bryan did. They basically scored the film using Silvestri's musical cues from the first film. Same heroic and dramatic themes Silvestri blessed the first film with are all throughout this film. Honestly if I were Silvestri I would demand a check be cut in my name. All in all though, Avengers:Age of Ultron is a must see, loud, fun spectacle that's worthy of repeat viewings so I may see you on line if not at the theater.

Child 44

Child 44, the latest film from director Daniel Espinosa is a complete and utter mess of a film. The first and second acts are a complete bore and the film only has something to say near the end. It's a dark, ugly film and I don't mean that tonally. This is a hard film to watch and it wasted a magnificent performance by a man that is quickly proving to be the best actor acting today. All in all I give Child 44 a bucket and a half of Killer Korn.













The trailer for this movie is gripping and I truly couldn't wait to see the film. It seemed liked the movie would jump off the screen and find a place in your mind where it would hang out and make you think about it for weeks to come. I love those kinds of movies, films like Gone Baby, Gone, Adore, or Interstellar, those films stuck with me long after I'd seen them. I foolishly thought, basing my opinion on the trailer that Child 44 would do the same. It was a bait and switch and I couldn't have been more wrong. Daniel Espinosa, the director behind this mess brought us the Denzel Washington 2012 vehicle Safe House which wasn't a film I was wild about. It had some good moments but overall it fell flat. I'm guessing Safe House is the one reason Child 44 pulled in the on screen talent that it did. Tom Hardy was amazing in his portrayal of Leo Dimidov. Too bad is was a performance wasted on this drivel. The drivel also starred Noomi Rapace as Leo's wife Raisa, Jason Clark, Joel Kinnaman, Fares Fares, Paddy Considine, Vincent Cassel, and Gary Oldman. That is a pretty impressive cast to have in such a pretty awful film.

There are far too many story lines to follow here and that led to the damming confusion that plagued Child 44. If you've see the trailer the film looks like a can't miss (and if you have check out the trailer below). The trailer looks like Child 44 centers around a serial killer of Russian children and even the title of the film suggests that but what you get is a long, slow melodrama of a brainwashed people and the government organization that tries to keep everyone in line. In the middle of that government is a militarized known as the MGB and if someone is accused by someone else of being a traitor then the MGB roots that person out, shoots them full of drugs in order to get the names of the co-conspiritors. Then they kill that person. There is a power struggle between Leo and Joel Kinnaman's character Vasili who is in cahoots with their supervisor, Vincent Cassel's Kuzmin to destroy Leo. Leo's wife Raisa has been named as a traitor and they demand Leo denounce her knowing he would refuse to, they get reassigned to a small town far away from Moscow and they should be happy they weren't shot to death.

You have to get through that madness before you get to Leo and Raisa trying to find the killer of children. Once that storyline get's going then the movie is worth watching, and if you haven't left the theater yet you're in for a treat. Sadly the last act lasts for maybe twenty minutes at the most. The movie is based on a novel written by Tom Rob Smith and the screenplay is penned by Richard Price. The book I am quiet certain in this case is far better than the movie. The only redeeming thing about Child 44 (outside of Tom Hardy's performance) is the score by Jon Ekstrand. There are profound moments of tenderness sprinkled amongst a powerful and dramatic score but that's not enough to buy a ticket to see this film. Skip Child 44, enjoy the trailer instead (which far outclasses the movie), and I'll see you at the theater

Ex Machina

Ex Machina, the debut film from writer/director Alex Garland is a smart, intriguing, and very entertaining movie. Blessed with great performances and an intelligent, compelling story Ex Machina  is a must see film in my opinion. No explosions, no car chases, no bullets, this film is a nice alternative to what's currently playing in your neighborhood multiplexes but Ex Machina gets four buckets of Killer Korn.













Alex Garland the writer is responsible for films like the epic space film Sunshine, the fun and frightening 28 Days Later, the ridiculous Dredd (though I blame the director for that movie being the mess it was), and the novel The Beach that was adapted into the film that starred Leonardo DiCaprio. Alex Garland the director has just one film to his credit and it's damn good and if this is any indication as to what we can expect from Alex the director then movie fans, we are in for a treat. Ex Machina stars Domnhall Gleason as Caleb, Oscar Isaac as Nathan, Sonoya Mizuno as Kyoko, Corey Johnson as Jay, and Alicia Vikander as the amazing Ava. Now if you haven't figured it out yet thanks to all the other hundreds of films that have expounded on the perils of artificial intelligence, Ex Machina brings the dangers of AI to you in such a visceral way that it's hard to brush it off as merely science fiction.

Nathan is the creator of the search engine Bluebook and is a highly intelligent and incredibly wealthy man. He's also a recluse. Caleb is a coder and an employee of Nathan's from NY. Caleb has won a competition that allows him to meet Nathan at his isolated compound in the wilderness and spend a week with the genius. Once there Nathan introduces Caleb to his next big project, only after Caleb signs a non-disclosure agreement. Once all the paperwork is out of the way Caleb is introduced to Ava and that's when the cat and mouse game begins. Emotional manipulation, lies, exploiting vulnerabilities and more all come into play here through Caleb's sessions with Ava. While the movie can tend to drag a little in the middle, Alex does an excellent job with pace and I was never bored or impatient. I was never taken out of the movie by wishing things would speed up and at the end of the film I felt I experienced Ex Machina, not just watched it.

Ex Machina for the most part stars just three people. That's it. The other two actors in this movie, one is hardly on screen for more than five minutes and the other doesn't say a word so it's really just three performers. When you have that limited a cast then you better have a damn good story and this film has a great one. Thankfully Alex Garland the writer penned an incredible screenplay that will make you seriously take a look at the pros and cons of artificial intelligence that other movies have failed to do. Those other films are meant to scare you, telling you that once AI is unleashed on the world it cannot be controlled and it will destroy mankind (think Terminator and I, Robot). Ex Machina takes a completely different angle on that which is why I enjoyed this film so much. Of course the cinematography by Rob Hardy and the score by Geoff Barrow and Ben Salisbury significantly aided in that experience. If you want a smart, thoughtful, and provocative film to see then I highly recommend Ex Machina. If you want cars hurtling through the air, explosions, and bullets flying everywhere, skip this movie and just wait, that mindless entertainment will be back on screens before you know it. I'll see you at the theater.